No Gifts Please... Huh?

BRUTALITY FACTOR: Medium

I get an invite for a Birthday party. I am all excited. It dies as soon as I see this line. Now I am just plain confused.

I am not sure what the host wants to say. Do they really want no gifts? Or, are they saying, you better show up with one, or don't bother showing up at all. Even if the former holds true and I respect their word, what if everybody else shows up with one? I don't want to look like a fool, or even worse. A cheapskate!

It would be much better, if the invite didn't say anything at all. I would just pick up something from the Dollar store. Wrap it up with a gift paper, which costs 10 times as much as the gift itself. Mission accomplished. 

As much as a gift card is easy to give, its the most unthoughtful way of giving a gift. All you are saying is, "Hey, I don't have the time or patience to think of what you want. So here is some cash. I am giving one, since I have too". On the contrary, in 99.99% of the cases. The gift you give, is exchanged. Hence, a gift receipt is as important as the gift (except for Gift cards), or what you give is worthless. Then you think, if the person is anyway going to exchange what your going to give. Why go through the pain? Just give a gift card. For the rest 0.01% of the cases, the person actually told you what they want as their gift. Hence not exchanged. 

For some people gift matters, and for the rest, the actual gift matters. I belong to the second group. So, I don't exchange the gifts even if doesn't suit me or fit me. Whats the use of the gift then, you might ask? Its the thought that matters. So the gift reminds me of the thought. I save the gift cards I get after I use, for the same purpose. A Greeting card with a personal note on it, is worth more than a million dollar gift card. On second thoughts, no its not. Both together, would be even better.

Gift registry, is what stuns me in this country. Its more straight forward, than the "No gifts please" line. If a gift registry is included in your invite. It out rightly says, "Hey, I'll save you all the hard work. These are the things I want. So just show up with at least one of these." Thanks to this practice, people end up having one even if they don't want to. I do get the point of it. You can rather give what they will like, rather than what you think, they might like. But again, a gift is my thought. Not the other persons forced thought on me. Its like a vicious circle.

Coming back to our original point. So what do we about the confusing "No gifts" line? Everyone is equally confused. So just show up with one just in case, the rest of them do. I wish I were a women at this point, since the gift can be easily hidden in the hand bag. Again on second thoughts, I'll just take one of my girl friends along.