Whats with Football?

Last weekend would have helped Circuit City move a few TVs off its shelf. Reason? Super Bowl. Today I have decided to rip apart Super Bowl. I really don't understand why a lot of TVs are sold right before the Super Bowl game. Do people not watch TV at other times? One fine day people wake up and decide to buy a bigger TV to watch the even bigger players? This could have been a marketing scheme employed by all the retailers to push away the older TVs.

Super Bowl or American football is like a religion for these people. Even the Desi's here go crazy over it. I on the other hand, am least interested in any sport unless it involves cars. I still have no clue on how a Cricket test match is played. Each match is so long, that the players can go for a vacation during one. And I still can't remember the teams in Super Bowl. Was it Chicago, or Miami, or Alaska? Well, who cares?

American Football like the name suggests, is only played in America. I think this is how the game came up. The Americans were not good at the games which the rest of the world played. So they decided to come up with their own. Which will make them the world's best in the games they create. As the rest of the world wouldn't even bother to take part in it. A fat American then sat on a Soccer ball. It changed shape to what the Football now looks like. They decided to use that shape as the ball and renovated the Soccer game to what is now called Football.

The Americans were very lazy. So once the game starts, one player moves 1mm and then they start all over again. Have you seen the size of goal posts? Its as wide as a trailer truck and as tall as the Eiffel tower. Only a blind person can miss kicking the idiotically shaped ball into it. Again, whats the point of people standing ahead of the goal post during a penalty kick? When the goal post starts at about 3 times the height of a normal person.

The referee is the weirdest among all the games. Usually in a 'normal' game he just shows a hand signal or a middle finger, and everyone knows what he means. And life goes on as usual. But here, he starts a explanation speech which goes for an hour. And still no one would understand, because of the echo repeating what he said, another 100 times.

The game has four quarters of 15 minutes each. Even George Bush can figure out that, one game will last for an hour. No, it will easily last four hours. They have one million time outs and two million ad breaks. I really wonder why they have the term 'foot' in the name "Football". Because I have never seen them use it. All they do is hold on to the ball like its their life, and run. Then get pounded on by ten 300 pound men the next second. It should have been called the American "Hold weird ball & Run" game.

They can't even throw the ball to another player. Thanks to its shape, the ball would change its course of direction and go to Iraq instead. All the drug addicts, I mean the players are not degree holders either. All you need is one strong glance, and they would get into a brawl. The stadium tickets aren't cheap when one has to get a mortgage to buy one. Why would anyone spend so much to watch the fights when they can't even watch the million dollar crappy ads?

It isn't even a sport. You don't need to have talent for it. All you need is to weigh a million pounds and be able to move it around. Being blind is OK too.