Research says....What?

Every time you read the news paper or website they will always have some articles of crappy news which they don't want to publish. The only reason they are there is because they nothing catastrophic had happened the day before or no celebrity has mistakenly upload one of their night rampages on to the Internet. They have to fill up the bank space.

There will always be one article which has the words "Research finds" or "Survey reveals". They claim to have made a new discovery and suggest to scarp whatever we are doing today and follow their claim. The "Apple a day keeps the.." is the most famous one. Later they claimed that it was an orange that would keep the doctor away. Then they switched it back to the apple. Probably because the guy who was eating oranges died.

Now how do they come up with such lame claims? Usually people in the R&D department are not given any tasks to do, so they have to do something to keep themselves busy. Using all the money they hire a couple of jobless people and split them into two. Feed one group dog food and make the other have cat food. After a week, they come up with a report saying, "Research says humans eating dog food last longer".

Firstly no matter how different or similar the participating people are, one cannot generalise for the entire human race. They conduct a research on 20 people and say, its the same for rest of the 6.8 billion people in the world. That's like less than 0.00001%. No thank you.

If the researchers want to conduct a valid test on similar subjects. They need to use twins. Kick one, slap the other and observe the difference in reactions. If they need triplets or more, then the quadruplets which were born 2 weeks back might come of use. 

The opinion poll is another joke. They set up a poll on some website or a public event. Depending on the response they get, we are supposed to assume that's true for the whole wide world. In a fitness website, no one is going vote against exercise. In a fast food website, no on it going to vote for exercise.

Even if polls are conducted on a neutral website, there will be only two sets of people voting. One who is for it, and one who is totally against it. The third is the group, who don't care a damn and don't contribute at all. CNN has a poll every day and the results keep moving all around the TV. All of it is crap. Last night, they were saying that 50% of spouses were cheating financially. I am sure all the couples who were watching this, argued if they belonged to it or not. And today the poll will be about, how many couples split because of financial cheating.

To sum it up, whatever research says is... otherwise!