What? A Monkey?

If you are really good at the "Spot the difference game", then your wife or girl friend wont have too many complaints about you. Normally a girl walks up to her significant other and asks the deadly question, "Do you see any difference?". The guys brain just freezes. He tries to recollect past images, but he can't find seem to find anything different. Apart from the fact that she is wearing clothes now. 

He responds to her saying her hair looks good now. The next second, there's a high heeled shoe on his face. She says it was the earrings. Which is about, as big as an ant. And grunts in dis belief of how she ended up with him. Now this situation is much better than when the girl wouldn't say anything, but expect the guy to find out by himself if there was any change. 11 out of 10 times, the guy wouldn't.

This whole equation changes when one girl sees another girl. I think this is how it works. Girl spots another girl. Runs a complete scan from the top of the head to the mud in her shoe sole and registers each and every microscopic difference. All this is done even before she says a hi. And compliments her on the difference. Lie, in other words. How on earth do they do that? They seem to have a superior image processor. I mean how can one notice a difference in eye brows? When its already 1mm thin. 

People notice every time I have a haircut. Guys and girls. Because they are just amazed on how I end up getting a more idiotic haircut, than the previous one. As it relates to me noticing. I do notice differences in hair do's. That's, after its clean shaved. Same regarding weight. I'll know only if you lost a 100 or added a 1000 pounds. Not if its a 2 or 3 pounds difference. You see, I am a human being (Male), and not a weighing scale. On the contrary show me a car today and show it to me again a year later. I will point out the new scratches or any other changes. Even if its atomic.

So yesterday a lady decided to get her done and colored it pink or whatsoever. Headed to her friends house. Good news is, her friends Chimpanzee did notice her new hair. Bad news is, it thought she was an intruder and mauled her. Every single day I am reminded that I am in the US. Not because of the fat people or Bush, but because of all the weird news I get to hear. Or rather forced to hear.

Firstly I would like to know what on earth was this lady thinking? A chimpanzee as a pet? A monkey? Again, a monkey? When one says they have a pet. I can only think of dogs or cats or fishes. But here snakes, frogs or grass hoppers are the norm. Reptiles, animals, insects are normally meant to be in the forest, not in your living room watching American Idol.  

Worst was the 911 operator, who thought the whole thing was joke. I mean, how often would one receive a call saying that a monkey is doing a girls makeup. The lady with the new hair is thankfully alive. The pets owner says the monkey has never behaved like this before. Which is why we put then in zoo's and sell soft toys instead.