How about we eat Indian today?

BRUTALITY FACTOR: Medium

Thanks to half of India, and most of Sri-Lanka & Pakistan moving to North America we have at least one Desi restaurant in every suburb, around major cities. And once you have seen one, you have seen them all.

If you are lost and are looking for a Desi restaurant. Just look for a bunch of Corolla's, Camry's, Accord's, Civic's parked. You will definitely run into some Indian restaurant. 

Firstly there is no such thing as an ambiance in a Desi restaurant. They have lights brighter than a football stadium. No importance given to the interiors at all. Once you enter them, you realise that they are much bigger than you thought. They aren't. The walls are covered up in mirrors to give that effect. All they have are five tables covered in a white cloth which is thankfully clean.

The chairs. Oh my god. They are from Walmart or are the ones which have a gold frame with a maroon colored cushion. The silverware is another joke. Its so worn out it seems like it has a matt finish to it. The glasses on the table looks it was washed by me. Which means it never was. Some places have plastic ones. And to give a creative touch, a small stupid white flower vase is in the middle, with an artificial flower which looks even worse than a real dead one. The creativity ends right about there.

Some are run by the family. So the dad is cooking inside. Mom is seating everyone. The kids are taking the orders. They try to dress up well. I guess they have to keep trying harder. The menu is, almost always a laminated paper stapled in the center which looks like it was printed 200 years back. 

No matter what dish I choose, I had to mention the spice level. Now where else do they ask you this. I just want the dish the way you make it. Not the way I want it to be made. Only then it wouldn't turn out be rubbish. Half the appetizers they serve are the frozen stuff you get in the grocery stores. Well I have a fridge and a microwave at home, you know. Same goes for the dishes. The dad is so lazy to cut, he just puts in the frozen vegetables. I certainly do not want to pay for such food.

Enter the buffet. Its value for money for you and the restaurant owner. The owner just saves all the left over food made during the week, and lets you have it all during the weekend. And please change the desert menu. I cannot have Gulab Jamun, Kheer and Mango ice cream in buffets anymore. There are other options you know. 

And no Desi place will ever accept American Express cards. Being in America, thats hard to believe. The food is always a gamble. You could throw up once you got home or just probably die. The restrooms are a joke. Only under extreme conditions should you use it. If the health and safety decides to inspect these places. They all, will be shut down. 

Most places now Americanize the food. Which means, reduce the spices and make it bland. Now why would you do that? That is why we have American food and they can go have their food (whatever that is). Please don't spoil ours. 

One restaurant I went to had another restaurants name on the menu. Can you believe that? When I asked the waiter about this. He said they are just using it. Well. I gave up.