BRUTALITY FACTOR: Medium
If I were to stand for President of the United States. This is what I would propose to do for the people, for the benefit of mankind.
- Sarah Palin would be employed back as a home maker.
- All US citizens will go for a English course to correct their vocabulary.
- The words color, neighbor, etc will have the u's put back into them to reflect colour, neighbour etc
- The term US English will not be a part of any word processor because it does not exist.
- Ground floor will be called ground floor and not 1st level anymore.
- American Football will no longer exist. Americans will learn to play Soccer instead and that can be called Football if they choose to.
- Baseball will be changed to cricket, because it is too confusing.
- World series games "WILL" involve the rest of the world.
- Football, Basket ball, Baseball Jerseys will only be sold to, and worn by players.
- School kids will be shown the world map instead of, just the USA.
- Media will be banned from telecasting anything about Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or their whereabouts.
- No more drive through's. Americans will have to move their butt if they want something.
- No more American cars will be produced since they are crap anyways.
- We will revert driving to the left side of the road.
- No more haggling at car dealers. Prices of cars will be fixed.
- No more Gas or Gasoline. It will be called Petrol like it should be.
- If a bank fails, no bail out will be given. The CEO will be jailed for life instead.
- Loans will be priced at a right 10% APR.
- No more monthly payments acceptable except, for cars or houses. TVs, home theatre systems, groceries, etc can be purchased only if you can pay the full price.
- All restaurant meal portions will be reduced by half and so will the prices.
- Any person weighing over 200 pounds will be jailed.
- Metric system will be changed to centigrade, litres and kms.
- No more contract businesses with the cellphone companies.
- Road closures will not involve a distance of more than a few hundred feet.
- Any city's name which has been copied will be renamed. Like Athens, London etc.
- All guns will be re-possessed.
- CNN will require to broadcast news outside of US too.
- Withdraw troops from Iraq, Afghanistan and send Bush instead, since he was the only one who wanted them to be there.
- Puff Daddy and other crappy rappers will be put behind bars.
- COPS show will be banned. Get a life please.
- Cookies, candies, brownie will be called biscuits, chocolates, chocolate cake like it should be, again.
- No more usage of 'You know', 'Like', 'I mean', 'I don't know', etc when trying to communicate vocally.
- Zero will be called zero and not 'O'. Z will be pronounced 'Zed' and not 'Zee'.
- Any law applied will be the same across all the 50 states.
- No same chain stores will exist beyond one state.
- If a speed limit of 55mph exist, then 55 mph is enforced. Not 5 or 10 mph over it.
- If an area is flood prone, then the Insurance company will have to provide flood insurance
- Every patient will get an appointment with a week and not a year later, anymore.
- ER will mean "immediate" medical attention and not after the person dies.
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