Whats with them Harley's?

A couple of months back I came to know that one could rent motorcycles here in Chicago. It was an interesting find,  when we take the weather into account. Its too cold for 7 months, too hot for 3 months and rains for 59 days.Which pretty much leaves only one perfect day to drive a motorcycle. And that one day happened to be during last week. So I decided to rent one just for the heck of it. 

The problem was, I could rent only a Harley. Which, I never wanted too. Firstly I am not a lunatic. That's the main qualification that one needs to drive a Harley. I don't weigh 300 pounds. Nor am I over 7 feet tall. Nor do I have a weird beard. Nor am I 600 years old. Nor do I have crazy tattoos all over my body (Now that I think of it, that's the main qualification). Oh, and the noise. It is so noisy, even the dead are complaining.

Harley-Davidson is over a hundred years old and is still a craze among the lunatic people. Its the only American motorcycle company which is reputable. Again, among the lunatics. They generally make cruiser bikes. I don't see why one would want to cruise on a highway in a bike. Bugs would go into your mouth, ears, nose, etc and the wind, would make your skin look like its over a hundred years old. And numerous other inconveniences. And they usually drive in groups. Seventy years old guy driving, with a eighty year old sitting in the back.

I decided to go for it. Worst case, I could just walk away if there were chances of me burning it down. At the dealer, I was only odd looking person. Wearing a formal shirt and trouser. Reason being, I looked normal. The rest were in jeans and Harley clothes. All looked at me, the same way an interviewer looks when the person being interviewed, shows up in his boxers. I had a hard time finding out which person works there as all of them were wearing Harley branded clothes. These people only wear Harley branded stuff. Shirts, gloves, wallets. Name it, and there will be a Harley logo on it.

I rented a V-rod which is the only sane looking bike. Actually a stunning one. Since it was designed by Porsche. As soon as I sat on the bike, I realized this wasn't going to me good. It weighed more than the earth and I had no clue how I was going to drive it. The driving position needs the flexibility of a gymnast. One needs to spread out like a frog and bend their back, till it snaps. The engine was probably taken out from a truck. Once I started it, the heat started melting the bones in my leg. The vibration was making my teeth fall off. The turning radius was about 5 miles, so taking a u-turn is out of the question. After 10 minutes of driving, my whole body was aching. Even worse than my work outs.

From what I saw, this seemed like the absolute worst motorcycle ever made. Not really. Once I got going, I couldn't feel the heat, the weight didn't matter anymore and vibrations mellowed down. The acceleration has to be experienced to believe it. It went like a bat out of hell. You can hit 60 mph by the time you finish saying its name. The brakes could stop the earth from spinning. And the noise, now seemed like music. The tires were fatter than an average American. It could probably stand by itself without any support. Its probably the best as long as you are moving. The day did fly by quickly and I had to return the bike. The power was intoxicating. The experience was memorable. In a good way for me, but in a bad way for my neighbors.

Would I ever recommend or buy one? Hell NO.