Life without Jeans?

Just like a razor, every guy on the phase of the earth will have a pair of jeans. Its a vital  part of a wardrobe. Even if a guy has two pieces of clothing in his closet, one will definitely be a jean. The only exception for this rule is my dad, who still argues why people want trousers which uses the same material as a sack.

Jeans were first used in the mid 18th century by sailors who wanted trousers which could withstand the salt water, rough use etc. In other words something that could sleep through a nuclear explosion. By the 1950's everyone started wearing Jeans and is still as popular. The copper rivets used in the pockets and the top of the fly are in fact patented by Levi's.

Levi's started making jeans for miners and later made it commercial and still is one of the best selling brands. Today, one simply can't imagine a world without jeans. Girls can, because they have a million variety of clothes and everyday,  designers come up with new ones. Guys have shirt, T-Shirt, shorts, trouser, Jacket. Full stop. Now without the option of a Jean, only formal trousers are left to wear. I'd rather roam around in my boxers.

Even with so much emphasis on jeans, I have exactly two pair of jeans sitting in my closet. One for everyday wear, the other one is because I don't know its there. I don't see the point of having more than one pair, as they all look the same. And nobody cares if you wear the same one all the time, its because they can't see the difference. 

Last week I noticed that the indestructible piece clothing had a hole in it. They don't make it anymore, like they used to for the sailors. Not one, but a couple of them. Some of them were in the wrong place and besides it was over two years old. I looked around for the second pair, but it wanted to be left alone.

I decided to shop and headed out to a mall. I don't shop unless mandatory. Like after my underwear disintegrates into thin air or after my shirts have faded into white. Let me put it this way. My clothes outlast my cars and cellphones. 

I didn't want to spend more than a few minutes buying a pair of jeans, but the mall had over 120 stores which means over half would be clothing stores. Thank god majority of them were women's stores. There was a sale, which means the stores were filled up like China and lines to trial room extended to Timbuktu.

I went to the jeans section and it looked like a sky scrapper with a few dozen storeys. And my god the number of varieties is mind boggling. Classic fit , straight fit, boot cut, easy fit, moron fit, etc. Classic style was for my dad. Boot cut made my butt seem as big as Texas. Straight fit made my legs look like chop sticks. Moron fit was exclusively for Russians. Whats with these patterns on jeans, for guys? Save it for the women. For men its just a proof for being metro sexual or gay. 

Then come the colors. The pre-washed looks like it was already used for a decade by your neighbors. Then there are the ones which are light blue, lighter blue, dark blue, lighter dark blue, blue with brown, blue with yellow. I'll stop right there. After over two hours (Only because of the crowds), I did finally get one. And I'm going to have to return it as it doesn't fit me (Yes, I got sick of trying them).