Did you FedEx it?

Cast Away was an awesome movie, even though 90% of the movie had sounds of the sea as the background music. I was also amazed by how Tom Hanks tried to beat the package sent by himself, to prove that the package could have reached faster. Just trying to think of how efficient and planned a courier company must be, is mind boggling.

The two biggest companies here in the US are, UPS and FedEx. USPS is run by the Government, so I would rather skip it. It seems like the top level management people at UPS have some sort of brown fetish. That's the only color used throughout the company. Trucks are brown, uniforms are brown, boxes are brown, receipts are brown, pens are brown. In fact, even the change they give is brown. I personally hate brown or anything that has to do with brown. Enough reason to skip UPS too. Yes, I know I am brown. But I have learned to live with it unlike Michael Jackson, who put his entire body under renovation.

This leaves only FedEx, which uses rather pleasing colors. The company is just over 10 ten years old which was started after they bought a courier company. And in 2000, they changed the name to FedEx from Federal Express and decided to ban the use of brown in the company. Later they acquired Kinko's. Now that's a rather funny name.

I am not a big fan of getting things done at Kinko's. Each one is as big as a foot ball field and has a DIY policy. Which means the football field will have only one person working. That too in the back, where one can't even see. And they are expensive as hell. Why do I have to pay a couple of dollars to fill my box with paper rubbish for cushioning? In fact its rubbish, so they have to pay me for putting rubbish in my box. I think some employees have an IQ of a smoker or Bush (whichever is lesser), so they suggest a 2 feet * 2 feet box for sending, something the size of a toothpick. You're right, they fill the rest of the empty space with rubbish.

It isn't fun filling up those forms either. My address isn't a four word alphabet. And if I am sending it to India, the recipient address will have all of the following. Old number and New number. I mean its been two decades since the new number came, so why don't they just let go of the old one? Apartment number (no complaints, thank God). Building name: This will mostly likely have the owners wife's name which also includes the owners name in the end. Street name: No street name is less than a hundred characters. Another street name. Area name: Same problem as street name. City: Again same problem. State: Again. Pin Number: And again (numbers in this case). I almost forgot. The persons name, which has a chance of being about 4 miles long.

Last week I had to send a package to India, which meant I had to fill all of the above. The store assistant told me two things after looking at it. One: Why I had written an essay in the form. Two: The essay was in the wrong form. Number two happens a lot to me. I wrote the essay again in the correct form. The store assistant told the impressions weren't dark in the carbon copies beneath it. An international air slip has about 7 sheets under the top one. Unless I write with a knife, there is no way for the impression would be on the last sheet. So I had to write it about 3 times in different copies for the last sheet to be readable. It wasn't, as the number 3, became a 333. And they always give you the top copy which is the best. I don't need the best copy. They should keep it, as 'they' are going to be delivering it.

Next the store assistant asked of how soon I want it to be there. Now when I am at a courier company, the answer is pretty obvious. The economy delivery at times reaches the same day as an express delivery. Then why the economy delivery? And some times the economy delivery is more expensive and reaches later than the express. Then why the term 'economy'? And how in gods name can they send a package slower? Do they just keep it for a week and then express it? Or do they opt to send it through a pigeon or a Corolla? 

Even with all these glitches, they function fast and efficient. I still haven't figured out a faster route from home to work, but these guys know every nook and corner around the globe. I should probably send a package from home to work and see which route they choose. By the end of the day, I did send the package to India, only to realise later that I forgot to include something else with it.