How was your flight?

I write this as I am sitting in a flight cruising at an altitude of about hmm, let's just say pretty high. Sitting here I can just call my boss to tell him that I am sick and will be working from home. He wouldn't know the difference. I can use Skype to call into meetings and, surf and chat as usual like in the office. Thanks to the in flight Internet that has been showing up on the 100 year old flights which all the US airlines operate.

The only problem would be if someone tries to call me. That can be solved by blaming the poor coverage of AT&T on the phone I have, which works all the time. I can also video conference with my friends/family. The list just goes on. It's nice to see technology advancing so much in such a short while. I used a mobile boarding pass and saved a twig from being cut. An iPhone can do most of what my current laptop can do, but more than what my 486 could do. Of course my 486 could load flash unlike the Apple souvenir which Steve Jobs sold me. I can update Facebook to let people know where I am going to be and meet up if possible.

Sadly there are some places where technology is shown the door. Like sports. I'll pick soccer to tear it apart. The referee during the world cup was running like a mad man behind the ball to make calls. While we are sitting at home getting every possible view and replay, can do a better job making the right decisions. A popular example would be the goal which cost US the semifinal. Had the referee been sober and in the control room, he would have given the goal to US.

It's pathetic to see this happen in this time and age. Why can't the referee talk to another person in the control room before making a disaster. I am sure there is some stubborn 80 year old idiot sitting in the board who still uses pigeons to send messages, refusing to change anything to keep it original. Originality is of no use when a team like Netherlands hold the world cup. I am not a sports fanatic, but Netherlands uniforms did look funny. I initially thought it was the construction workers who were on the field.

Going back to the airplane, where I could do endless possibilities with the Internet. I can't. Because I have to pay $15 to use it. $15? That's stupid. They did announce that a movie would be played. But I couldn't follow the movie as I needed to pay $2 to buy their headphones to listen to the dialogues. By the way, they said the headphones are ours to keep. The $2 headphones wouldn't even last the entire flight to begin with. No thank you.

Not that I am cheap to pay for them. I feel I am entitled to receive them along with my ticket. Buying them would just encourage them to charge more. There's already an airline who have started charging for carry on baggage. Firstly the only carry on's that they allow are the one's which can fit into a post box. And next, they want to charge for that? This policy can get a bit tricky when it comes to a ladies handbag. That would constitute as a personal item I suppose. But the handbags/clutches comes in varying sizes. Smallest being the one's that can fit in a SIM cad slot. Biggest being the one that would be just about enough to hold BP's spilled oil. In other words it can be a personal item or a carry on, or a check in luggage or a cargo only item. Apparently the airline is called Spirit. Haven't heard of that? Me neither. It could be free publicity. And that too a bad one.

So what's next? Charging to use restrooms? Actually, there are reports that airlines might consider this. I won't be surprised if its Spirit airways. If they did start it, I would revolt by locking myself in and coming out until they offered me a free flight. There is a good chance that I might die in the process, but it's a good opportunity to sue the airline for them for being so inefficiently managed. But again they might charge my dead body a few bucks to get out too. This strategy of charging people is like a Dominic effect, one starts and the rest follow. This is the solution they came up with to show a profit. Which brings the airline industry to same level as a car salesman. Both are cheats whom no one likes.

I do have to mention that the airline industry is a huge one and making a profit is a bigger challenge. Everyone is cash strapped except the one's in the Middle East. Resorting to charge customers for every piece of crap they give is not the only option. I just hope the charge for carry on would mark the end of this madness. The only thing left are restrooms and, hold your breath. Seat belts!

Location please?

Generation gap. This is the answer for half of the misunderstandings between children and their parents.The rest however, is always the child's fault in the parents point of view and vice-versa. The underlying problem is that children can almost never listen and the parents can't stop giving instructions.

My parents can't seem to understand why a girl should have a job, when taking care of a house itself is like having two unpaid full time jobs. With overtime. You see, things have changed. Most of the work a long time back meant being physically strong to do some labor intensive work. Women did not have the strength to do that. Hence men worked while women filled up their stomachs, so they could go back to work the next day.

Only in the past two decades technology revolutionized the world and a good number of jobs were computerized and automated. The only physical work one needs to do is to left click the mouse. This coincided with the number of women being educated. Hence the women folk wanted to contribute towards society instead of just aiding global warming and, make a few extra bucks to shop.

Getting a job is a given regardless whether you're a guy or a girl. The problem actually arises in the next level. Marriage. India has become more or less like the other countries. People do not mind moving to another state for a good job. One can see people from different parts of the country within a company. When the time comes for a guy and a girl to get married. One would have to relocate. Given the current economy, at least in the US, this can be pretty challenging.

It is risky for one to just quit and relocate to find a job in the new place. That would be a George Bush move. Hence both of them get married and live separately, They depend on the loss making airlines to meet, and the free mobile to mobile plan to greet. This is great for the economy. One couple signs two rental agreements, two cable TV agreements, buys double the furniture, double the electronics, etc. But not so great for the relationship. The marriages becomes more or less like a cellphone contract one tries to abide by. No harm until they keep paying their monthly dues. In this case its the monthly visits.

Being married and living separately doesn't do any good for the career also. The employers will not totally rely on them since they know that they will quit anytime. Both do end up collecting a ton of miles though. I have seen so many people in this country in the same situation. It's complicated since the economy is worse than BP's spill and cleaning the spill is easier than finding a job. International applicants are in a bigger soup thanks to sponsorship requirements.

Career here becomes the necessary evil. There is another issue, relocating is tough as only specific places have the need for specific talent. Wall street traders are useless in North Dakota. Its like trying to convince a polar bear to move to Texas. Do I have a solution? I think so. If you are looking to get hitched, along with interests and wavelength, the zip code should also match.

What about IPL?

Its looks like Facebook's activity has died down in the past three weeks. Not because of the security concerns, which by the way people shouldn't expect once you create a profile on a social network. You are basically giving up privacy on any content that you post. Going back, it was because IPL had ended. All the swearing, praising of teams and live score card updates were all gone. Somehow I saw updates mostly for the Chennai Super Kings team. Part of the reason could be that I have a lot of friends from the same Idli Sambhar/Idli Vada city. I never knew we were referred to those terms until I saw the finals between Vada Pav and Idli Vada.

This is the third year since the league/spam began, so I thought I'd write about it. Please excuse me for any erroneous information as my knowledge about cricket is the same as Bush's knowledge about.....hmm let's say anything! For the first two seasons of IPL, I never cared a damn about it as I has better things in life to do. Like sleep or in fact, sit and do nothing. This year for a change, I noticed a cricket match on TV. It was weird. Some Australian players were so dark and looked very Indian. Only later my friend told it was the Chennai Super Kings team and not Australia's. The Team uniform gave me the benefit of doubt. So my knowledge about Cricket wasn't bad, I just didn't bother to update myself.

IPL turned out be the next phenomenon in India after the IT boom. The IT boom which went bust last year and is now heading for another boom. IPL was churning in money like never before. Lakh's was considered tips. Rather, everyone spoke in Dollars and in hundred thousands or millions. Advertising was at its best. Parties and fashion shows everyday. They played ads between every ball instead of every over. It was also played at times when the bowler is rubbing the ball on his crotch or about to scratch his nose. They were doing so, as the entire match would get done before a Yash Raj or Karan Johar's movie reached its intermission.

Lalit Modi who is better known to us as the Desi who got caught while smoking pot, used the best ingredients for this tasty dish called IPL. Only two, Cricket and Bollywood. The major source of entertainment in India. No movies were released during this period, as the film film themselves were glued in front of the TV or were in the TV. Big film stars were the owners of the Teams, even though they themselves were from another city. When so much money is involved, they don't care. Royalty has a higher priority than loyalty in IPL.

It was almost perfect except for one thing. Cheerleaders. Why in gods name do they think cheerleaders are needed? And why foreigners? I think a lot of Indians look and dance better than those foreigners. The Desi mentality of inspiration (politically correct) from the west or blatant plagiarism (being frank) had to happen. They wanted to add glamor quotient which in my opinion did not work out. In fact some Cricketers were so mad that they started hitting the boundaries towards them. That, or they totally misunderstood the concept of 'hitting on'.

The CSK team was the only one who did not have their bosses with them in the stadium. They had no celebrity team ambassadors this time around. The only person remotely close was the actress Trisha. Again, Cheerleaders? But after a few matches even she disappeared as they lost every match when she was around. There are rumors that she was paid not to show up at matches.

Thanks to the money involved in IPL, there were some serious betting going on. And like everyone suspected, towards the end of the series there were talks about the legality of the team's owners and match fixing. At that point people were confused what to watch. IPL on Star Sports or IPL on NDTV. Again, cheerleaders? Suddenly people associated with IPL started saying they hold a minor stake or none. Shilpa Shetty said the only thing she owned as a part of IPL was the team's shirt she was wearing.

Lalit Modi turned the final presentation ceremony to a 'Save my butt' essay reciting contest. He was the only one contesting, and he lost badly. Lalit Modi is no saint .He used every loop hole to become the president of BCCI, stole the IPL concept from ICL. Deliberately blocked ICL from being a success. But for making IPL what is it right now, he definetely needs a pat of the back. He tried exposing the Cochin minister through twitter. And the repercussion was him loosing his President position at BCCI. What he missed was the fact the fact that India has a different version of Newton's third law. Every action has a earth shattering reaction.

With the excitement around IPL, no one seems to care about the T-20 world cup which started as soon as IPL got over. Including the cricketers. India is already out of the world cup. Pakistan seems to be gaining ground. But again, nobody cares so not worth the effort. Lets hope IPL sticks around and not doesn't with the conspiracies around it. Again, cheerleaders???

What about frozen food?

If you are reading this on a Sunday, you almost certainly had a nice home cooked lunch or dinner. And, are not totally looking forward to tomorrow. If its a Friday or a Saturday, you have plans to go out to a restaurant and pig out. If its a weekday you are most likely going to have leftovers from Sunday. This is the case normally, unless you live in the middle east where the Arabs decided to cut/paste Sunday into Friday.

You would be amazed to see the number of people getting frozen packaged meals for lunch. These meals are nothing but leftovers from six months back, which have about two tons of salt and chemicals in it. These are then put in a Freezer and then sold to you. The rest of the people go to the nearest food chain to grab food. The only difference is here is, twice the price and they warm up the frozen food for you. To sum it up people are just eating crap.

The reason is simple. No time. The actual reason is, food is low priority. Highest priority is definitely the paycheck. Some might disagree saying wife or husband are their priority. But if you don't see your paycheck coming, you won't see your husband/wife coming in too. In this dog eat lion world, money is everything. Friends, family, cellphone, etc was the most important, about 200 hundred years back. But now, money is the new spinal cord, so that one can at least stand. And for that money to come to you, you should be a millionaire's son or better start working.

Nowadays work has put everything else on the back burner. Like food, sleep and family. No one makes fresh food. Eight hours is sleep is what you got when you were two. Wives/Husbands aren't a point of concern right now, as they also have put you on the back burner; thanks to work. If you calculate the time you are on Facebook or Orkut, it would be enough to cook three meals with time to spare. The difference is that we love to waste time on Facebook rather than cook a healthy meal. Cooking is more or less, a chore.

With all the advance in Medicine and technology we can easily expect live past a hundred. There is a problem with that assumption. Thanks to slow poison Pepsi and Coke have been selling, if not careful we can drop dead in the mid 40's. The number of children diagnosed with diabetes is alarming. You can hardly find kids who don't wear prescription glasses. Babies are born sick. Who is responsible for all this? Not coke or Pepsi, nor Aamir or Abhishek who promote them. It is us who even without the slightest thought gulp down gallons of these drinks and the other junk which are fried in oil. And then, topped with fattening cream.

The problem is not only with the people, but the Government too. They provide more subsidies for meat than for fruits and vegetables. That's why a grape costs more than a cheese burger. If you ask people to choose between cheaper meat and expensive vegetables. The choice is obvious since people are dumb.

Junk food is not going to kill us the instant we have it. But the more we consume, the higher chance for future health problems. Good food and exercise should be our highest priority, not work. Its like using Kerosene in place of petrol for your car. It might run, but down the road it will die. Unless its a Toyota, it accelerates, hits something and then we die. Yes it does mean quite an effort to cook your own food. But we all know nothing comes easy. Do the hard work to live a long a healthy life or laze around and die sooner. Looking at my 401K, I think I'll eat my words and opt for the latter.

What's in a ring?

Taking the train everyday to work has its own pains and gains. I don't get stuck in rush hour traffic, I help the polar bears which I haven't seen, I don't have to parallel park the train and I can always use the train as an excuse to get out of work early. There are the downsides too. Even saying the word rain or snow will delay it, I have to sit with sick people, Russians and buffoons who occupy one seat for their rear end and another for their two ton bag. I don't get a place to sit if I board at the last minute. Thanks to the buffoons off course. And 99% of the time they depart on the dot, and god knows how; are always 99% late at the destination. "To gain something, you have to loose something" is how the saying goes. I think that needs to be changed to, "To gain something, you have to loose a god damn lot of things". The things you loose seem to be a matter of more concern.

There are only two kinds of people whom you find the train. One's who don't talk, and the one's who just cant stop talking. Quite a few people have train friends to wild away their time. But let me tell you, having a train friend is like getting married. If I open my trap to the weird kind. I am doomed to talk to that person till I change to another train. You just can't stop talking to that person since he will be travelling in the same train and car, and will be a lot of inconvenience to change your timings. And rude too. So one has to be very careful while choosing his prey. Instead of a commitment like that, I decided to shut up and sleep. That had its own drawbacks, like missing my stop.

Men generally do not like to commit. Just in case something better comes along. Talking about commitment brings me to the subject of engagement rings. Somehow this country has an obsession with these rings. Almost all the countries have the same concept. And it ends right there. Nobody cares if you have sapphire or diamond or a stone from the roadside. But here, the ring goes through an autopsy. Cut, clarity, color, cost, how, when, why etc. Followed by comments like ooh, aah, oh my god, etc. That's the women folk obviously. The men are just glad if the ring was more expensive than that of their spouses or, are jealous if their spouses ring was more expensive.

This tradition began in the 15th century to prove the men's worthiness in terms of financial health. Or rather a sign for the other guys to stay away from the girl. Unfortunately for the guys, the girls made sure they carried this tradition forward. Now its a little bit modified. Unlike before, the girl mostly herself gets a ring according to her choice as the men suck at it. Of course the guys still pay for it. Or hints to him or his friends on what ring she likes. Including the specs. Biggest investments in a guys life goes in this order: Wife, house, ring and car. For this reason, unless your last name is Gates or Buffet, no one is really excited to buy an engagement ring.

As per section 126, clause B from the Law of Engagements, the cost of the ring should be equal to or more than the guys two month paycheck. Pre-Tax. God knows how they came up with that. The ring which is a symbol of love and commitment has become a symbol of wealth and pompousness. Society makes one wear a ring even if they don't want to. If a girl says she in engaged, no one asks about her fiancee. But instead, they want to see the ring he gave. Only if the ring looks pathetic, do they change the topic to the guy. That almost never happens, as the guy would have been rejected or the ring would have been exchanged. For the same reason I will make sure I give a ring to my future wife. Without a ring, people might convince her to consider divorce.

Let me end my chauvinism for now and look at the other side. Men also wear wedding rings. Just like Toyota Corolla's they aren't noticed. Most women love jewelery. The diamond for a girl is what a Ferrari with Katrina Kaif is for a guy. The engagement ring the girl gets is like a combo deal. It has a diamond which she absolutely adores, and it has been given by the person she loves the most. That makes it the most valuable item in her ever growing wardrobe. And always will. It is a sign for the good times to come. This is similar on the lines of getting a Ferrari which will have a lifetime warranty, service package and be replaced with a new one every 5 years. Reality is, the Ferrari package can certainly never exist.

A diamond almost never looses value, so it is one of the safest investments one can make. This tradition will never die. Even if there is the slightest hint of it happening, De Beers and Jared will make sure that it doesn't; by playing back to back ads to buy their conflict diamonds. You at this point might be wondering which side am I on? Pro-ring or anti-ring? Neither. All I am trying to say is, don't put a price tag on it!

Were you bailed out?

I have been asked by quite a few people, why I haven't written anything about Toyota's latest fiasco. I am not quite a big fan of beating a dead animal. The media seems to have punished it enough. It has become the butt of all jokes. Though they have a resolution for the run-away cars, they don't even know if that would fix it. Some are saying its because of the accelerator pedal itself. Some say its because of the floor mat. And some say its just that the Toyota's want to commit suicide with the owners in them. For one simple reason: It's a Toyota. Let me stop here, or else just like Toyota I can't stop either.

It pours when it rains. This saying seems quite apt for Toyota at this point. They are recalling almost everything made by them. Even home made cookies. And, all this during a recession. Though the Government says we are out of it. They never admitted we were in it, in the first place. This recession has made people question everything. The most criticized are the one's working for AIG and Goldman Sachs. People would rather say they work at a brothel than admit working for one of the bailed out companies.

Yes, they were bailed out by every one's tax money. That doesn't mean I can go to their employees and ask them if they got any bonus or tell them to test drive a Toyota. People are forgetting the fact that most of the companies paid the money back. With interest. So technically, the bust companies did help the government make some dough out of your money. I have read about AIG workers being looked down upon, as if those people were the sole reason for the economic wind down. Its the Governments fault for not keeping a check when the property prices were accelerating even faster a Toyota. What the banks did were not right. It wasn't wrong either. Now that everyone is burnt, some rules have been set. And Obama would make sure that "some rules", would become "a whole lot more rules".

Different jobs have different pay structures. I for instance, am offered 25 cents for working 37.5 hours per week. Though I work twice the number of hours, that 25 cents doesn't change. A pool cleaner, who cleans pools and nails wives makes money based on number of hours he works. Extra cleaning or nailing, will get him more money. Likewise CEO's and finance people's pay are based on their performance. Steve Job's take home pay is $1, but he gets paid in other ways, like stocks and bonuses. So these guys bonuses are dependent on their performances. I would be very pissed if Obama put a stop payment on my 25 cent check. What I am trying to say here is, people can't questions a company's bonus for their employees. It is based on their performance for that year. And if they paid back the bail-out money, they did a bloody good job. Thus deserve it.

Some people are taking advantage of this bail out and questioning every penny that goes out of a company's account. Choosing to ignore the one's that are coming in. Just like GM is doing right now with Toyota. They advertise claiming their car's accelerator's don't get stuck. GM's car's don't even damn start to begin with. Now the roads will be filled with speeding Toyota's crashing into broken down GM cars. GM is totally messed up. They collected car companies like they were stamps and couldn't get their act right. They are now blaming it on the recession and trying to shut down the iconic companies. Thank god Saab was saved. Its now possible to sell my car. Hopefully someone buys Hummer.

I read this article a while back where a emergency crew were trying to locate a mountain climber. He was stuck in some stupid mountain. People were starting to question this rescue operation as it was proving to be expensive and eating into the city's funds. These people are the jobless kinds, quite similar to the Shiv Sena's group. Since when was dollar more valuable than life? I think these people should be hired by my company. They wouldn't have the time to even think about anything else. Again to reiterate. Just because people pay property tax, you can't ask a city worker to be your slave. Its people's responsibility to pay tax. And it ends right there. Its not a FedEx package, to track where its going.

Obama is also planning to charge the bailed out companies a hefty fine for screwing up. Obama does make it feel like you never graduated out of school. From now on companies will think twice before getting greedy. Although this might create another problem. This jobless people might want a "cut" from the profit the Government made.